The Hate List
by DethGab
Summary: It all started with that stupid piece of stupid paper. YukiKyo
1. Kyo

**The Hate List**

**Disclaimer:** nope

**Summary: **It all started with that stupid piece of stupid paper

* * *

_Dear Holy Gods I'm bored! _I groaned in my head. There's nothing quite like randomly scribbling on a stolen notebook, especially one stolen from The Yankee Girl during lunch. But not even vandalizing her stuff could have made me feel any better about being so antsy. I quickly took an inconspicuous glance around. Everyone was facing forward, taking notes. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course there was no one to make faces at… not that I'd ever made faces at random people during a lecture before but…damn, I was just that out of my brain bored. _Any_ entertainment would do.

Dear Gods! How could they listen to his monotonous, droning voice without falling into a deep, deep sleep (a coma?). I couldn't even make out, for certain, what the fuck he was going on about; his words blended into other words, sentences ran together in a NEVER ENDING STREAM OF _BUZZING BORINGNESS_!!!

Woe was anyone who could bear _that_!! If they were woe, then I was absolute anguish for _not_ being able to bear it!

rwejh43kjkhcjxbv94854jhg45oiu5kjh54k4hk!!!

…

I, personally, had stopped listening approximately 14 seconds into the lecture. Having the unfortunate tendency to slip into the previously mentioned almost coma and, consequentially, hitting my head on the desk... yeah, not productive.

_What did I do to deserve this!?_, I cried in agony. Listening to him, even without listening, my brain felt like it was trying to force its way out through my right ear. To get an idea of how much more torture I was going to have to go through, I glanced at the clock, _NOOOOOO!!!_

Thirty more minutes.

jh456kjnb65m3nk65kjhl56kljh2kj31hlklj6hlk7kljh64kjh!!!

There was nothing I could do to fix my brain, it was lost. The next step was to get a lobotomy and truly become a drooling vegetable.

In my little bitch session my scribbling had waned, I picked up where I left off. Fleeting thoughts of freedom danced in my head like dead fish on a rollercoaster. There was no hope, I was sure I was going to die. I contemplated, briefly, jumping out the window… to be free… as in outside… not dead. I sighed my emoness and scribbled a little more, gashing random lines into the cardboard cover of the cheap notebook. I glanced down to see what my subconscious had brought me for Bore-mas. Ha ha. I'm so freaking funny….

_Hmm,_ I thought, tilting my head a little to the left for a better angle,_ kinda looks like the word 'hate'._ Well… 'HaT3' but who's counting?

I didn't quite know how the scribble/word had emerged into an idea, or, consequentially, how that idea slithered onto the first blank piece of paper in the notebook but the next time I looked down there was The Hate List. I did not question it, I did not think about it, I just read it.

At the top of the list: _I hate being the cat_ in my, admittedly messy, nearly illegible, script. The statement, though, was a given. Who of the zodiac _wouldn't_ hate being the cat? I bet they all think, Well, shit, life's bad. But at least I'm not the cat. I would think that too if I weren't me. There's also the fact that they're all hard wired to think of me was an outsider who doesn't belong. Some have gotten over it, but others…

Depressing….

_Moving right along..._

Next was: _I hate Shigure_, I meditated on that one a moment. Shigure was an annoying. And a letch. And he possessed no conscience…. But, then, he had also taken me into his house…. That was a tough one but I amended the statement with a '_most of the time_'.

The list went on:

_I Hate Ayame_

_I Hate Rain _

_I Hate Leeks _

_I Hate Crowded Rooms (Claustrophobia)_

_I Hate Invaded Privacy_

_I Hate When There's No Milk_

_I Hate When Cats Swarm Me _

_I Hate Peanut Butter_

_I Hate Bananas_

_I Hate the Sound Of Static_

_I Hate Baking Soda_

_I Hate Mint_

_I Hate the Sound Of Electric Pencil Sharpeners_

_I Hate Bright Yellow and Orange_

_I Hate Monday_

_I Hate Tuesday_

_I Hate Thursday_

_I Hate Sunday_

_I Hate Purple_

_I Also Hate Grey_

_I Hate Girly, Gay Looking Shirts_

_I Hate Pale People (Not Tohru)_

_I Hate Rats_

As I read over these things, I noted a trend in the latter hates. They were things about, or related to, Yuki. But I had avoided actually putting the rat's name on the paper.

... Interesting.

I picked up my pencil the fix this.

_I Hate The Rat_

…That was still avoiding it, so I erased this and tried again.

_I hate Yuki…_

I stared at the ellipse. Was there more to it? There was no way that there could be more to my genetic hate for his person and existence... could there? I didn't _think_so…. This was deeply troubling. Hating Yuki was the _stability_of my existence. There were times when even my will to live depended on him; beating him, taunting him, the promise with Akito. If there were exceptions to the rule, if there was more to it, if I found reasons _not_ to hate him…then what?

I flipped my pencil over and prepared to erase the dots but froze. Maybe… maybe, if I could think on it for a while, I'd find the reason for my hesitance. Anything getting in the way of my hate for him was something that was terribly, terribly wrong with the world and that needed to _go down_.

I dropped my pencil, decided. I would think on it. I nodded to myself in agreement, putting the Hate List away.

I toyed with my pencil a while then, as I was on a decision making roll, you see, that I should give the teacher another shot. See if he didn't kill me this time. I looked back up at the teacher, opened my ears to him, and attempted to pay some sort of attention. But that didn't work so well, I ended up face down on my desk.

I sat up on the roof later that night. It was twilight, the best time for being on the roof, all things considered. The sun was just beginning to blaze its exit, cutting straight to my skin not warming the air. It was the time for thinking, for relaxing, for the air to begin chilling and making me thankful for my elevated body temperature. It was a time to get some privacy—to meditate on my list... the Yuki part of my list.

I stared down at the notebook paper I had written the list on. I hadn't added anything to the list but on the way home I had contemplated rewriting the list so it wasn't as… ugly. But I ended up letting it be; my scribbles had character.

I focused my wandering mind and decided to cement my uncertainties in writing. There's nothing like seeing it right in front of my eyes.

_Do I HATE Yuki Souma?_

I could have kicked myself in the face. What a stupid question.

_I most certainly do_

Annoyed at my own vague response I continued:

_What is it, exactly, that I hate so much about him?_

Now _that_ was a question to get the adjectives rolling. I cocked the hand with the pencil in it and began.

_I hate that he tricked me at that stupid banquet_

I stared blankly down at the paper. How retarded. I didn't even actually know about that. I didn't remember it, I wasn't there. So why was it relevant? Why was it the first thing to come to mind? It wasn't our fault for our predecessor's mistakes. Besides, in all reality I hardly cared. It felt like someone else's problem, which it was.

I yanked myself back to The List and forced my hand to keep on.

_I hate that he's perfect_

_I hate that he has an annoying fan club that's EVERYWHERE WE GO_

_I hate that he's the student body president_

_I hate that Momiji-like black haired kid that's always hanging around him (tho I will not associate him w/The Fan Club)_

_I hate the he can make friends so easily_

_I hate that he's stronger than me_

_I hate that he has a better shot at Tohru than I ev_

I cut myself short at that one. I… Tohru is… special and I do love her. I love her like a clueless sister I need to protect. She is the epitome of everything sweet and innocent and… sweet. But Tohru is… very…. For all I love her and want to protect her, she deserves better that I could ever think about giving her. Fortunately for me though, that's not Yuki. But that didn't change the way she looked at him. I guess it could be just another 'big brother' trait—wanting to protect her from the 'Bad Men' of the world.

"Uhm, Kyo?"

Tohru's voice sent a shock through me and I automatically went to hide The List, but she was on the ground, she couldn't see. I took a deep calming breath and stood, abandoning my List, and jumped down.

"Yeah," I breathe as my feet hit the ground, nearly noiseless.

Tohru jumped and her eyes widened, getting even bigger. "Kyo you shouldn't do that! What if you landed wrong and got hurt?!" she squeals in panic. She gazes up at me with imploring, worried eyes. "Will you please… uhm, not do that?" she asks, then hastens to add, "Not that I'm trying to order you—"

I smile, I just can't help it. "I won't." I promise, and I won't. Not when she's around anyway.

She grins her silly smile and chirps, "Dinner's ready!"

I smile wider. "Yes, ma'am."


	2. Yuki

Yuki

* * *

It honestly baffled me, it still does, that we were able to survive without Tohru. It's mystifying, really, it is. Before her, we lived on takeout and junk food and no one _ever_ took the trash out. The sink hadn't been spotted in excess of six months! We could've died of E. Coli or something!

"This is wonderful Honda-san." I praise her softly, not sure she could handle anything stronger without flipping shit. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kyo scowl, but I paid him no attention. Tohru promptly turned hot pink and stammered something about how mediocre a cook she really was.

"Don't kid yourself, Tohru," Kyo teased in a breezy tone, "it was awesome and you know it." He grinned as her blush deepened and her stuttering went into double-time. There was at least one thing we had in common: the love of messing with Tohru, it was so satisfying and you didn't even need to do that much.

"Now, now don't tease Tohru like that, Kyo, you're making her blush!" Shigure chided from behind his book, knowing full well what he was doing, the douche.

…There was a beat of silence as everyone waited.

I ticked off the seconds as they slipped past Kyo. He'd gotten that 'Wait-A-_Minute_' look on his face and seemed to be scanning the conversation for what it was that had, or should have, offended him. His brows drew down and he scowled at Shigure. "Wait—_what_?!" he growled angrily, realizing that Shigure just got onto him about something that I did done first.

Things seemed to pick up and keep on in the normal order now that his line has been said.

In typical Kyo fashion, his tirade was loud and he looked ready to punch someone's lights out. "_What?! _When _he_ did it, you didn't say _anything_!" he yelled, angry. "I was just being polite." He crossed his arms over his chest, before muttering dryly, "Unlike _some_ people." Which was something I had to agree with; Shigure's plate had been all but licked clean yet he hadn't comment at all. "God!" Kyo growled, standing and stomping away to the kitchen with his plate, grumbling about dogs and rats and the world against him.

All was still at the table as the sound of a clattering plate and flatwear resounded from the kitchen. Then more silence as Kyo stomped up the stairs, probably still griping about the unfairness of the world.

Tohru apparently felt the need to fill the post-Kyo-outburst silence. "Um- uh, I-we…. Would you like more, Shigure-san?" she stuttered to fill the void of Kyo-less…ness.

_Things feel much less normal when Kyo's not here to harass_, I thought, bored, as Shigure opened his mouth to reply. Granted, I hadn't been taking advantage of that at the time but with him there scowling it made things… easier. Easier as in, knowing that if things got too boring or monotonous, I could just take a stab at him and he'd go off like pretty, sparkly fireworks on New Years. I silently dismissed myself as Tohru and Shigure began a spirited conversation about what flavor soufflé most encouraged the top to stay inflated or some such nonsense. I dropped my plate off in the sink and went upstairs myself.

I had to pass his room to get to mine and unconsciously noted that the light was out and the door was ajar. He had been up and kicking not two minutes ago. I didn't dwell on it though, because I wasn't really thinking about it. It was an involuntary observation that I happened to notice consciously. Okay, so I _did_ dwell on _not_ dwelling on it, but I fail to see how that counts. So, yeah, I went into my room and flicked on the light.

_Wow_, I thought as I nearly had a fit over the mess, _I think I might need to fix that._ There was paper, half-done worksheets and half-written essays, scattered on my bed. _Procrastination doesn't work well with my personality type_, I thought, looking around, royally pissed. I gathered up the paper in a stack and sat down at my desk, prepared to get to work. Immediately, right as I picked up my pen, I heard Kyo tossing and grumbling through the thin walls.

_It must be about to rain_, I thought vaguely, trying to concentrate. But Kyo kept on making pre-rain-jitters noise, so that train of thought became harder and harder to derail…._No, well, sometimes he gets squirrelly days before the thunderheads even think about rolling in_, I contradicted, feeling my hand begin to twirl my pen. _I wonder_— I shook my head and tried to focus, _Half these assignments are probably due tomorrow! _I thought, trying to pep talk myself into doing what I was supposed to be doing. I set my pen to work, concentrating on each problem. It worked for a good 5 minutes, which was when Kyo bumped into the wall.

"I _need_ to get this _done_," I growled angrily at the wall, which remained impassive. I stood, papers, and an extra notebook in my arms, determined to get the assignments done, it was already past 7 o'clock. I started for the door to my room then paused, _Where am I going to go_? Tohru and Shigure were downstairs, probably still talking—the very thought of people talking made me antsy and unable to concentrate—so that was out. I couldn't go into Tohru's room... and Shigure's bedroom and study were better left alone, if just in the best interest of my keeping my dinner. The porch was always an option, the moon was a sliver away from being full and was giving off intense light, more than enough to see by, but then there was the awning to block it. The roof, notoriously Kyo's spot. It was perfect, the moonlight would be hitting me directly and there would be no distractions. I spared exactly one-fourth of a moment thinking about what he would do, how he would react, to me being in his spot. I grabbed a jacket and smiled to myself as I opened my window, _What Kyo doesn't know won't kill him..._

* * *

It was cold out, bringing a jacket had been a wise decision. But other than the cold, the roof was nice; the gentle slope was perfect for sitting, the tiles relatively comfortable given I had a very… _not _cushiony behind. A glance at the sky, though it was dark, told me that Kyo's jitters were early. I picked a spot at the far end, just over the back door, and sat. I yelped, very manly, in surprise as I sat on—

I rolled a little to the side and looked behind me at the…whatever it was.

A spiral notebook. The metal binding was what I had sat on, but now it was flattened a little. I stared at it trying to reign in my piqued curiosity. What was it doing on the roof? But I ended up failing very miserably. I reached around to retrieve the notebook. The most overwhelming sense of What-The-Hell washed over me. The cover had been scribbled on; dark lines and random curves and a zigzag type thing. I took a closer look, scanning the squiggles and lines for any resemblance to… anything. None. But off to the side, in the bottom left corner, were bold, block letters. 'HATE'.

"What?" I heard come from my own mouth, my face scrunching up in confusion. 'Hate'?

I pulled the notebook away from my face and stared hard, turning it a little to the right, then the left.

"Ooooooh," I breathed in realization. The 'h' and the 't' but the 'e' was the wrong way. "_Ohhhhhh_," I said again, in further comprehension. I chuckled, "So Kyo does have the capacity to be clever," I muttered, amused.

_But why leave this on the roof?_ I thought as I instinctively gave it a quick fan through to make sure I wasn't missing anything interesting. I paused, brow furrowing and did a double take, turning to the second or third page and looking again.

There, in messy writing I could barely read, was a list.

_The Hate List_

I felt an eyebrow quirk, _Really…._ I thought, now _there_ was something new and exciting. I began to scan the paper.

_I hate being the cat_

That one kind of surprised me, I had been fully prepared to be at the top of Kyo's hate list, surprise pushed aside, I kept on.

_I hate Shigure, most of the time_

_I Hate Ayame_

I had to concur with these, Shigure and Ayame were hated far and wide. They were The Fraternal Wonder Twins, both annoying as hell in their own unique way. Shigure was a faux absentminded writer. He was conniving and clever behind his jokes and lechery. Ayame, my brother, he was trying to atone for his assholery, but he was just so… camp and queeny. Which brought on a whole different kind of Annoying as Fuck.

_I Hate Rain_

_I Hate Leeks_

"Obviously," I muttered, who _didn't_ know that Kyo hated rain and leeks.

I tried to go on but there were a couple I couldn't read.

_I Hate When Cats Swarm Me_

_I Hate Peanut Butter_

_I Hate Bananas_

_I Hate the Sound Of Static_

_I Hate Baking Soda_

I had to laugh at that one. I remembered hearing, when I was younger, about an incident involving Kyo and a box of baking soda. It had been the first time I'd laughed in what must have been years. Being locked up does crazy stuff to one's sense of humor. I smiled at the memory.

_I Hate Mint_

_I Hate the Sound of Electric Pencil Sharpeners_

Then another completely illegible one. The combination of writing tiny _and_ messy was killing my eyes.

_I Hate Monday_

_I Hate Tuesday_

_I Hate Thursday_

_I Hate Sunday_

_I Hate Purple_

_I Also Hate Grey _

'I also hate grey'? The ones about purple and grey sounded connected…. What, around here, was purple _and _gray?

_I Hate Girly, Gay Looking Shirts_

… _And now I know exactly where he's going with the rest of this list_, I thought wryly. The affinity for girly clothes must be somehow genetic. I couldn't help it.

_I Hate Pale People (Not Tohru)_

_I Hate Rats_

_I Hate Yuki…_

"An ellipse?" I muttered in surprise. "What more could there possibly be?" It seemed like he had added me as an afterthought almost, like he hadn't even thought about me until he got done listing the things he hated _about_ me. Which made no sense at all, I should have been at the top of this stupid list, being an after thought was just plain insulting. Almost. Kind of….

_Do I HATE Yuki Souma?_

_I most certainly do_

"Obviously," I sighed, again, shifting as my butt began to tingle, about to fall asleep. Kyo must have been one of the simplest people ever to roam the earth. He had to _reason out_ his feelings… actually, it was a pretty good idea. The school councilor said that I needed to open up and accept my emotions, try to work with them instead of against them. What better way to understand then to write it all down? yeah, anyway.

_What is it, exactly, that I hate so much about Yuki Souma?_

As I continued, I noted that at this he branched off into a whole What I Hate About Yuki sub-list. Which suited me just fine. I would also like to know what it was about me that made him all hot and bothered. And I wasn't about to accept all the bull about it being our ancestors at the effing feast or what-have-you. The list continued on the other side of the paper.

_I hate that he's perfect_

I rolled my eyes, "Riiiiiiight," I replied to the paper, sarcastic. What about me was perfect? I wasn't the one who was laid-back and easy to approach. I also wasn't the one with all the friends.

_I hate that he has a fan club that's EVERYWHERE WE GO _

Here's where I started to actually be annoyed. He wrote that like I _wanted _those crazy bitches stalking me and making shrines and just generally annoying the piss out of me. Not only were they offensive to me but they wouldn't leave Tohru the hell alone! Just because she's my friend—

Before I even really thought about it, I was adding my own little side note, in _pen_ no less. But then I thought about it and shrugged. It didn't really matter that he knew I'd been here because what could he do? Beat me up? Ha! Fat chance.

**(and won't leave Tohru alone)**

I looked, for a second, at what I had written. Right next to his, my small, loopy writing looked perfect.

_I hate that he's the student body president_ **(I hate it too)**

_I hate that Momiji-like black haired boy that's always_ _hanging around him_** (I don't HATE Kakeru but, yes, he is very annoying)**_ (tho I will not associate him w/The Fan Club _**[from hell]**_)_

I ended up putting a little upward arrow to squeeze it my comments on this one because there was no room.

_I hate the _**(that, Kyo, not the) **_he can make friends so easily _**(I can make worshippers easily, not friends)**

_I hate that he's stronger than me_

_I hate that he has a better shot at Tohru than I ev_

I rolled my eyes; Kyo could be so _thick._ If he couldn't see that Tohru was, and always had been, his for the taking then he was probably _on_ something.

**(Kyo drugs are bad for you, you shouldn't do them, they've messed up your head)**

Was my addition to his little interrupted emo-fest.

I gave the list a glance over and thought about adding on to other oblivious statements but thought better of it, I had done enough. Doing anything at all was assurance that Kyo would attempt to kill me in my sleep. I couldn't wait to see how twisted his panties would get. I really couldn't wait until he found out about my additions to his list.

I let that thought wander and dissipate. I can be so smug sometimes that even _I _want to hit me.

I stretched my arms over my head, regaining a sense of where I was. My butt was numb. And I was cold.

_Shit_.

I gasped; literally, I gasped and scrambled for the papers, readying my pencil. What the hell? I had gone to the roof to _avoid _distractions, but I got sidetracked anyway!


	3. Kyo II

Kyo

"Blahblah, _blah_blah. Blah, _blah_, blahblahblah."

I stared. For a long time. What the hell? He was just blathering on and on. About what? Fuck if I knew. He was pacing around and brandishing his book at the front row. What the hell was he _talking _about? It must have been the fact that he was speaking in English and I was _supposed_ to understand him. But, seriously? What on Earth? At this point I realized, quite abruptly, that I wasn't listening to a word he was saying. It was actually surprising to notice this, because I was trying really hard, I felt like I was retaining at least some of the things that I apparently _wasn't_ hearing. Even when he picked someone to translate, I wasn't in the game at all….

I deciding that I should blow the teacher off in favor of going hunting. There was nothing I could do really, my brain was not in the mood for English. Instead, I attempted to trace where his words were going after they entered my ears. I was lead on a wild goose chase leading, in a very round about way, directly out my nose. Interesting….

Shit.

I slumped down in my seat; there was _nothing _better than knowing that I couldn't learn anything, even when I tried. I thought, in that moment, that I finally understood what the stupid rat had been going on and on about for the past… crap, only the Gods knew how long. In a way, I guess I had known for a while what he was talking about. Because, for as much trash as I talk; I had yet to even come close to beating him. He knew it, I knew it, but I'm pretty sure that he didn't know that I knew. I guessed that he assumed I was too stupid to be objective about myself. He probably thought I was too stupid to figure out that, after the first time I got burned, I probably shouldn't stick my hand back in the fire. But, for his information, I learned after the first time that, yes, fire hurts. And, yes, I do indeed, notice the obvious. Though _some_ people continue to think that I'm too dense to function, I'm not dense. I'm just always busy thinking of that magic 'if'. Consequentially, I blow off a lot of important things to do so.

What _if_this time I beat him? I guess that's the biggest 'if' on my mind, seeing as how I'm always going after him with this exact vain hope, but like I said, I know I can't beat him, at least, not as I am now. I just couldn't find the will to give up something so good for me. Yuki was a type of therapy for me; he's what kept me sane for a long time. If I didn't have him to take out all my energy on, I would probably have just stew in my troubles and unspent force until it rotted me from the inside out.

The uncomfortable feeling of my eyes beginning to cross brought me out of my reverie; I closed them and turned my head. When I opened them again I glared out the window. I wondered what would happen if I jumped out of it and was free. Free as in 'not in this class', not 'dead' free….

I was hit pretty abruptly with a surprising jolt that I didn't quite understand. The monotony of my classes had made them blend into one another. So when I had this jolt—which made me think of how it might feel in video games when you die and are re-spawn back at the last checkpoint—I knew it wasn't because it was an interesting class. If I could sit for fifteen minutes and absorb nothing but the feeling that the teacher was talking; it was boring as hell. I couldn't pinpoint any specific thing that was making me feel the odd sense of something, but not too much so, like déjà vu. I sat for a few moments more; the tingling sense of 'I've-Been-In-This-Position-Before-And-I-Need-To-Do-What-I-Did-Last-Time-Only-Better' wouldn't let up. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something. The situation was too familiar and I couldn't remember what I had done the last time….

The Hate List. I breathed a sigh of relief as I finally figured out the problem. If that had gone on any longer I probably _would_ have jumped out the window. It was like the itchy spot on the only part of my back that I couldn't get at. I reached down into my bag and fished around a little. _Eureka_! I latched onto the bent metal spiral of the notebook and tugged it out of my bag. It was at the very bottom, under all of my books and binders. Earlier, we had almost been late because I had been in a mad rush to get it. I had forgotten that it was still on the roof. My sleep had been horrible and I overslept because I never had bothered to invest in an alarm clock, since I was naturally an early riser. When I woke up it was already seven. With Yuki bitching and Tohru politely trying to keep him from leaving without me; I had been a little pressed once I remembered where the list was. I had jumped up onto the roof, shoved the notebook into my bag, and gone back into the house through my window, since I had promised Tohru I wouldn't jump from the roof anymore.

We weren't late. I'm quick like that.

I set the book on my desk and tried to reshape the flattened spine. It had taken a lot of abuse. That notebook was a freaking trooper. I flipped the cover back, with some difficulty, and looked at my list. The moment I glanced down, I knew something was up. Everything froze for a moment. Well, I shouldn't say _everything_ stopped, because it was just me. I glanced down and _I_froze, the noise around me was blocked because I was in a state of momentary shock and, thusly, could not hear.

I had left it outside, so it had a crisp, crunchy feel to it. But that wasn't my problem. I was hung up on the fact that there were little notes in addition to what I had written, in a neat, small, pen-written hand. I _knew_ this particular writing style. After the ice wore off and the room was filled with the monotonous _blah blah blah_ing of the teacher, I could _feel_ the stupid look blooming across my face. The first thought in my head, after my head was _capable_ of thought again this is, was this: _What was he doing on the roof?_

Then: _Why did he_ write _on it?_ _He is smarter than that, he would know not to!_

After the initial slowness of newly regained thought, there was nothing, really, but the feeling of my face growing hot—I—I was _blushing_. What did I have to be ashamed of? He was the one that had gone up to invade _my _turf and read my—_my_—list. So what? Everything on the list was obvious and anyone who even claimed to know me would know those things.

…And yet, in spite of the fact that he most likely already knew those things, I was blushing. It wasn't like he had, like, walked in on me… jerking off or something…. Dear Gods, it was much, much worse. He was seeing the whiney, insecure side of me, a side that he wasn't even supposed to know about.

I shuddered, hard, all this from a stupid list?

I couldn't help the irrational feeling that he was challenging me. Like he had walked up to me and said to my face, 'I can find out all your dirty little secrets, no matter how hard you try to hide them,' then, like, slapped me in he face with one of his gay little girl gloves or something. And really he _was_—challenging me. He was telling me that he knew he had found something of mine that he _knew_ he wasn't supposed to see. He was—

I stopped that train before it could go very much further and considered something more probable: Maybe I'm paranoid and am reading too much into it. I shook the rationality off before it could have a good influence on me. My dignity was telling me that he was challenging my status as a man and that I needed to respond ASAP to keep my pride as a male unchallenged. Pride always wins out over logic; that's how it was, i never questioned it.

But, before I could respond, I needed to figure out what it was that he was attempting to dispute. I glanced down at the paper and found the first words in his handwriting.

**(and won't leave Tohru alone)**

The hell? That made no sense! Where was the jeering and the 'you idiot don't leave your stuff out if you don't want it read'-ing? I went back a line to see what I had written, more than likely, what he was saying had something to do with what I wrote.

_I hate that he has a fan club that's EVERYWHERE WE GO_

He was agreeing with me. I stared in awe, he and I agreed on something, go figure.

_I hate that he's student body president_** (I hate it too) **But how could he hate something that got him so much recognition. I would've jumped at the chance to be student council president; it would've been awesome—having a voice that people actually hear and listen to. But here he was acting all bent out of shape for being privileged. Ungrateful punk.

_I hate that Momiji-like black haired boy that's always hanging around him _**(I don't HATE Kakeru but, yes, he is annoying)**_ (tho I won't associate him w/The Fan Club_** [from hell]**_) _I couldn't help the grin that made it's way across my face at the 'from hell' he had stuck in there. He had a sense of humor, who knew?

_I hate the _**(that, Kyo, not the)**_ he can make friends so easily_** (I can made worshippers easily, but not friends)**

I was surprised to see how many things we saw eye to eye on. I was even willing to overlook his little jab or my grammar and/or spelling skills.

_I hate that he's stronger than me_

Figures. He wouldn't add on anything there.

…

…Actually it didn't; I was admitting his superiority, and he had obviously read it. I had actually bet myself money—at some point—that if he knew I thought he was stronger than me, he would take me by the scruff of the neck and drown me while trying to rubbing my nose in it. But there I was, staring at a blank spot next to 'he's stronger than me'. Not an 'of course I am' in sight. Disconcerted, because he had just torn down one of my only certainties, I moved on to the last one.

_I hate that he has a better shot at Tohru than I ev _**(Kyo drugs are bad for you, you shouldn't take them they've messed up your head)**

I stared at this one, too. He was just on a 'tear-down-Kyo's-Truths' tangent. I would think—I _did_ think, that he would have smashed my nose into that admission as well, but apparently not. And what was up with the 'drugs' thing? What was that even supposed to _mean_? Was he implying that I couldn't see that Tohru was too innocent and perfect for even him? Or that she wasn't interested in him? How could Tohru _not_ want to be with him? He was perfect; all that any girl could ever want. Well, he was perfect when he got to stand next to _me_ every day and rub the contrast into every pore of Tohru's face. Because, _really_? I mean, even I can face it and be honest, to myself at least, next to Yuki I look like crap.

"…Souma Kyo-kun?"

My head snapped up at my name. If there's anything that I know, even if it's a whisper three miles away, it's my name. "Huh?" I asked, very dignified.

The teacher stared at me, annoyed and pointed to the letters and numbers on the board, "What does the equation on the board represent?"

I glanced past the teacher with the monotonous voice to the chalkboard. For as much attention as I was paying it very well could've been foepi654tg5h4f56h4j56h4jyt56i4

"…Uh… That's not an equation? Isn't it the chemical formula for glucose?" I answered, ignoring the people staring at me as the seemingly random numbers and letters sank into their proper meaning. Which is why I stand firmly resolved that science teachers should stick to science and English II teachers to the confusing Anglo-Saxon symbols on the board. This philosophy could apply to languages too. Japan=Japanese and all that crap. I returned to staring out the window and ignoring the teacher. I wondered what would happen if I jumped out of it—to be free, not to.... I derailed that train of thought, it was not only very old and well used, but it was getting me nowhere.

I twisted in my desk and glared at the board, maybe I could learn something while I stewed over the list.

* * *


	4. Yuki II

Yuki

* * *

Sometimes he makes me want to hurt small animals. Namely cats, maybe even bunnies. Or maybe just him. I should've Super Ninja Stealth Action Surprise Attacked him, but that would've been stupid; I didn't _really _have a reason to. He was just on the back porch sunning himself like the cat he was. Totally minding his own business. The whole reason I was so… irritated was his stupid shirt. Riding up. I could've been like, 'Tohru's virgin eyes, man! Have some shame!' But, no, that would've been stupid too. It wasn't like he was naked or something.

I tried to stifle a yawn, but failed. Crap, I needed a nap.

While my eyes were closed, he had shifted, shirt moving to expose even more of that damnable golden brown skin.

For as long as I'd known him, he'd been dark and I'd pondered why. His mother was a head case and never let him outside, so maybe he was genetically tan. But then, as a whole, the Japanese are a pretty pale lot. Then again, stranger things have happened within the Souma clan; Haru's hair, for instance. On the flip side of all that was the fact that I never actually saw him in the flesh before his mother died. So it's more likely that Kazuma-sensei let him play outside to his heart's content. In which case, he must have been stark naked. I'd seen Kyo in varying stages of dress; he had no apparent tan lines, just the same even—

He was looking at me.

Glaring, really.

How long had I actually been staring out my window at his dark belly button? I'd meant to just pass out but I'd caught a glimpse of orange and couldn't help but investigate. No matter. Any amount of time spent staring at his midriff is too long. Because he'd caught me staring. Really, I shouldn't have been staring at him at all, he—

Fucking crap. I felt a very strong urge to dash me head against my window sill. Now only had he caught me looking, but he had been the first to look away. Leaving me _still staring _like some stalker, a brazen one at that. Which is worse! (If you're going to stalk someone, at least have the courtesy to attempt to pretend to want to be discreet about it)

He was pouting, rather disdainfully, as he glared at the trees. The freaking trees. Why? He could have more fun watching condensation drip on a glass of water. Bet Shigure could find some way to put a sexual spin on watching trees…. Actually, he could find a way to make _anything _a dirty joke. He was on a 'That's What She Said' kick for a long time. His balls were lucky my heart was set on using the gardening shears I couldn't find.

Was he blushing?

God, was I _still _staring?

Yup.

Abruptly, he jumped up and came into the house. I could see, hear, and feel him slam the door.

I threw myself on the floor; what the hell was wrong with me? Why did I even ask that question? I knew perfectly well what was wrong. Him and his fucking list… well, that and getting about three hours of sleep for the past two nights in a row. Mostly it was the list though. Ever since that night on the roof, I'd been paranoid. There really wasn't that much he could do besides yell and make me break doors with his person…. But still! It made me anxious to think that he was seeing the real me, not Yuki Mask 2.3. Only Tohru and Machi had ever—

It occurred that I might be reading too much into it. I hadn't even written that much. Who's to say he even knew I was being serious and not just… mocking him or something (which sounded a lot like a conclusion he would jump to). Hell, there was no telling if he even got to the notebook before it rained. Or if he'd read what I wrote. Or if he even knew it was me, for that matter.

…Alright, even _I _had to admit he wasn't quite that stupid. He'd grown a lot since he got back from the mountains. He was taller, faster, mellower. He'd matured mentally and behaviorally as well as physically. In all honesty, I didn't really know what to make of him lately. I always felt like I was either giving him way too much credit or not nearly enough. He was a far cry from the rash moron with a bone to pick that he used to be. But then, neither was he a reasonable or normal teenager.

Once, at school, I heard a girl raving about her cat to a friend. The one girl told the other that she loved male kittens in this awkward stage. They're growing fast but don't know how to handle it yet, they're gangly and haven't grown into their paws. It sounded adorable, even to me, but I'd never seen an actual cat in that phase before. I was seeing Kyo awkward and still kind of gangly; he was a personification of that stage I guess. Though I doubted he was as cute.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Silence. Everyone was doing their own thing for once, no one was over to play, the people that belonged in the house were in different rooms doing different things. It was a calm quiet, which I liked—very conductive to napping.

I yawned again and stretched, closing my eyes.

There was only so much togetherness I could handle before I got homicidal. Don't get me wrong, I loved Tohru and all he warm, scattered-ness, but more often than not she was all bent out of shape about something or other. It was annoying as piss.

I could feel myself drifting when a thought occurred. _I want to make a gingerbread house_. Then, because he is a ginger, _I don't hate Kyo's guts_.

The second thought was only slightly more disconcerting than the first. The last time I tried to have a hand in making a gingerbread house was in the 5th grade and it didn't go too smoothly if you catch my drift.

Yeah, anyway, Kyo's guts. The more I thought about it, the more I realized—_Kyo's guts are perfectly okay_. Which was a strange thing to realize because I always just assumed I hated them—him. He was The Cat, which, for the Zodiac is plenty reason enough, what with _his _feelings about him. He was the one always picking fights for no apparent reason. It was almost exactly like the situation with Haru—hehe, Spring Roll—but unlike him, Kyo had yet to get over it. I wasn't about to—

Where the _duck _did that come from? I moved my head slightly to the left and blinked. It was a stupid, useless thing to do. But there was no one around to judge what was or was not stupid, so it didn't really matter. Everyone does retarded shit sometimes. Some of us just refrain when other people are about. Because were good like that. There's no telling what I would have done if someone had walked in a moment before I saw it. Granted, randomly rolling around on the floor looks kind of dumb. I could probably play it off as I just passed out on the floor because I was so tired (which wasn't too far from the truth). But moving my head to check my eyes—and sanity—is a little more 'Yes, Yuki Is Human' than I wanted floating around. Next they'd be figuring out that I sometimes have to poop and occasionally fart. They don't need to know those types of things.

Point is, no one walked in, I was still on the floor, I _had _moved my head, and the notebook was still there. Had I been a turtle my tail would have been tingling.

I stared for about 12 seconds before I forgot what I was looking at. I'm not going to lie I was on the floor for a good three minutes staring at the notebook, debating whether or not I should get up or pass out. I ended up dragging my tired body off the floor and flinging it into the desk chair. Stupid spiral. Not just stupid but ugly and anorexic too; had probably been around the entire school. I probably shouldn't have even touched it, I'm lucky I didn't get paper/cut because then my immune system would be suppressed and my white blood cells would be killed and I'd be screwed. Not fun.

I blinked a few times. The note looked harmless enough, retarded thoughts aside. I opened it up to the first page with writing, nothing new there. Page flip. Not there either. Page flip. Jackpot. The word my eyes caught on first was 'eyeball.' Cool. I love it when that happens; my eyes find an exciting word and I get all fired up to read. To see what could possibly lead to the word 'eyeball' in the middle of everything.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you write in my notebook? Why were you on the roof?"

Yay! Disjointed questions.

Right after 'roof' I stopped reading, no longer fired up. There was more—Gods there was more—but I wasn't about to have it. What were we? Grade school girls with some piddly melodrama to act out?

I certainly didn't think so.

There was only one course of action: confrontation. Face 2 Face Kombat. I surged to my feet and immediately surged right back down. There would be confrontation!

Later.

If I didn't pass out first. Which was looking pretty doubtful. Stupid all nighters full of stupid homework and even stupider cramming.

Confrontation could wait a couple, cause, in my chair or not, I was about to steal some sleep.

* * *

A/N: A Couple Things!

1) Yes, this is written a little differently. Yuki is tired. The thought process loosens up considerably when tired.

2) Before you say. ANYTHING. Yes, Akito is woman. I know. Yuki does not.

If you have time we could play Catch My Editing Mistakes! because I know I always miss _something._ No matter how many times I go through it.


End file.
